“I had a fight with my husband for my son’s 130,000 New Year’s money” : To confiscate the money is to kill four opportunities to educate their children


My son is ten years old this year, and his hometown has the habit of celebrating “ten years”, so his New Year’s money is nearly 50,000 yuan this year.With the money saved in previous years, the total is nearly 130,000 yuan.Knowing that he had such a large sum of money, the son excitedly made a two-page shopping list: a learning machine, a new computer, a set of game equipment, a pair of high-top sneakers…Dad took one look at his shopping list, shook his head and said, “You’re still young. Let me help you save it.”I left him 500 yuan pocket money and took the rest.How big is the drop from 50,000 to 500?The son was so angry that he ignored his father for several days.The husband train him: “you eat, wear of all do not lack, in the hand put so much money stem what?”Son zhenzhen words: “this is my grandparents grandparents, and uncle aunt sent me!How can adults take money from children?”Father and son fought each other and let me reason.I felt a little sorry, so I said to my husband: “This is really too much for you. How can you confiscate all the children’s lucky money?”As a result, my husband said I was too used to the children. Finally, the problem was not solved, and we both had a cold war all night.In fact, the amount of children’s New Year’s money is generally large, which has already exceeded his own consumption level. Of course, I do not support my son to spend it in disorder.However, I am even less supportive of adults confiscating everything.There is a news that a 10-year-old boy in Chongqing stole the money three times behind his parents’ back and forth, and used it to buy snacks and toys.His parents gave him a good scolding and made him eat crow.The boy is very unconvinced: I take is stored in the mother’s New Year’s money, how to calculate to steal?Never admit your mistake.Frustrated parents sent him to the police station.The police communicated with the boy for more than an hour before the boy promised not to take money without permission in the future.There is something wrong with children stealing money, but this story has to make parents think deeply.Sanmao said: “Even as a child, at home do not worry about food and clothing, walking still expect to have a few coins in the pocket ring.”Some parents think, children do not worry about food, do not worry about clothes, to so much New Year’s money to do what?Little do they know that even the youngest child has the need to shop freely.New Year’s money is not so much a way for relatives and friends to express love and care, but rather a chance for children without income to have their own “small Treasury”.The confiscation of New Year’s money seems to prevent children from spending money recklessly, but in fact, it forces cash-strapped children to “take risks” and become more greedy in the face of money.Last year, there was news that two 14-year-old boys in Chongqing were lost a day before the start of the school year, and their parents were so anxious that they called the police.After the police found them, they could not laugh or cry.It turned out that the winter vacation was coming to an end, and they were worried that their parents would ask them to turn in their New Year’s money, so they decided to spend it all before their parents asked.They went to an amusement park, bought a lot of snacks, ate two big meals and watched a 3D movie…Over a thousand in a day.Yin Jianli, an education scholar, said, “In the management of lucky money, any perfect design will be meaningless if the child reluctantly agrees to it if it makes him feel uncomfortable.”Children may feel that their parents are scheming them, and what they learn is calculation and distrust, which can have a negative impact on healthy money attitudes.”Some parents think: the amount of New Year’s money is big, the child tube is not good, so in various names to go.Children can experience limited parents can not see the heart, only to see this should be completely belong to their own New Year’s money was taken away by their parents, so all kinds of noise, as a demon.Either hide money, take it, or seize the opportunity for revenge spending.But can not learn rational consumption, do not understand the correct view of money, values should be what.Therefore, if parents confiscate children’s lucky money, it is oblasing a good opportunity to educate children, and it is likely to train children into potential poor people.Managing their New Year’s money is a required course for children to grow up. Parents may question: New Year’s money is a large amount of money. If all the money is given to the child, he can control himself not to spend it in disorder?The New Year’s money to the child custody, it is really not appropriate, it is likely to be used to children lavish, do not know how to control.A 12-year-old boy in Harbin received 13,500 yuan in five days.Before his parents had time to ask, he invited more than 20 classmates to a high-end restaurant for dinner, karaoke, play games, and spent it all in two days.Children self-control is poor, see a huge New Year’s money, inevitably not lavish.They could not confiscate it, and they could not give it all to the child, so what was to be done?According to a survey of families in 28 provinces and autonomous regions, half of Chinese parents choose to manage their children jointly, regardless of their age.Nearly 90 percent of parents will not directly confiscate their children’s lucky money, but instead discuss with their children or tell them the specific purpose of the money.Should you save it or invest it?Is it for learning expenses, or for children to buy their favorite things?Different families may have different answers.My suggestion is that parents can give the right to use the money to their children on the condition that they both manage the “huge sum” together. Wen Fang, director of the Beijing Youth Psychological Counseling Center, said: “The lucky money itself is an educational opportunity. Parents should guide their children to learn how to manage their finances and repay their kindness.”Teach a man to fish rather than give him fish.Farsighted parents know how to cultivate children’s concept of money and values through the “props” of New Year’s Money.According to the bestselling primer on wealth in Europe and the United States, “Little Dog Money money”, income can be divided into three parts: 10% for daily expenses, 40% for dream goals, and 50% for the Golden Goose account (the part where “money begets money”).In my opinion, children’s lucky money can also refer to this ratio.For example, AFTER that day, I held a family meeting and decided with my son on his lucky money use plan: 10% of the money is his daily pocket money, but due to the large amount, it should be distributed in two years.40% for big spending plans, such as learning machines, summer vacations, and hobbies;The other 50%, we help him invest.In this way, the child not only has daily pocket money, but also can complete some large spending goals, and can achieve value-added, his son listened to also readily agreed.Many parents worry that money won’t appreciate in the hands of their children, so they often take away the lucky money in the name of “I will help you increase in value”.The whole book tells us that even children can learn to invest and master the code of wealth if only someone can teach them.A father in Guangdong province asked his son to invest 10,000 yuan in his own company in order to make him understand some basic investment concepts.Father and son signed a very formal agreement in which Dad promised to share out the money at the end of each year at 10% interest.Even children find this way more meaningful than simply putting money in the bank.So we can definitely use lucky money, teach children some simple investment concepts, let him see the magic of money begets money.If the child is older, you can also explain some knowledge of funds to him, to develop his financial intelligence in advance, learn to be responsible for their own choices.When Lu Xun was young, his favorite custom was to pay New Year’s greetings and receive New Year’s money. He could not only buy his favorite drums and clay figures, but also buy the long-cherished reading materials and painting charts.In the past, the amount of lucky money was small and it was difficult to buy anything large, so he would buy it with his brothers.When he was 12 years old, he and his second brother Zhou Zuoren jointly bought a book called “MAO Shi Jing Wu Tu Examination”. This book annotated vegetation, birds, animals, insects, fish and other things described in “The Book of Songs” with drawings. He liked it for a long time.On another occasion, he, his second and third brothers jointly bought a copy of “Hai Xian Painting Spectrum”. After reading it, he gave it to Zhou Jianren, his third brother, and then went to buy a copy for collection.Adult Lu Xun not only to writing famous world, and in painting, seal cutting, collection also have good results, childhood lucky money is “credit”.You can’t look down upon children’s interests and hobbies, sometimes hobbies are also very “burn money”.For example, my son has always been interested in photography. I promised him that if he made progress in his study this semester, he would buy a camera with the New Year’s money.Children do not have an income, usually difficult to purchase related items, the “money” is a rare opportunity for them.Allowing children to use lucky money to develop their own hobbies is to allow children to have colorful happiness, parents should strongly support.New Year’s money is a sign of elders’ care for their children, but on the contrary, parents can also guide their children to thank their elders with New Year’s money.For example, when grandparents celebrate their birthdays, children can buy a small gift with lucky money to express their wishes.On Father’s Day and Mother’s Day, guide children to buy a small gift for their parents with New Year’s money.It is a custom for elders to give children New Year’s money, but children can not take the elders pay for granted, so parents can guide children to use the way to repay elders.The greatest happiness of a family is to raise a grateful child.Let children learn to “reciprocate”, but also a kind of Thanksgiving education.A popular topic on Weibo, China’s twitter-like microblogging site, has attracted more than 400 million viewers: “Who gets lucky money for children?”Legal Daily’s interpretation from the legal point of view is refreshing: “New Year’s money belongs to the act of giving legally and should be owned by the recipient, so the money belongs to minors.But he can entrust it to his parents, who cannot keep it for themselves or consume it for themselves.”New Year’s money is never just a question of money, but also of rights and dignity.In her book “A Good Mother Is Better than a Good Teacher”, Yin Jianli also said that even if children do not spend their lucky money properly, sometimes they “squander” it and spend it in useless places, it is also a necessary course for growing up.The “wasted” money is tuition.Managing money, in a sense, is the only way to manage life.Learning to deal with money is a required course for every child’s growth, and lucky money is the best opportunity for this lesson.It not only cultivates children’s view of wealth and values, but also determines their happiness or not in life.Parents confiscate it directly, so children are more greedy for money;When parents indulge, children spend lavishly.The way parents deal with their children’s lucky money not only writes down the password of their children’s future wealth, but also determines the pattern of their children’s life.This article is very timely!Photo source: Our newspaper, Guangzhou Daily, New Channel: Boy Group, Guangzhou Daily, net friend comments, etc

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