“You should fly like a bird to your mountain” after reading: about the family of origin

Resemble the person of my this age, probably all have similar feeling: even if be busy a day, want to look up only the solitary moon of a clear cold, or it is to glance at the neon rainbow outside the window, the feeling that rises subsequently can expel on a second return quite strong sleepy meaning…These days, at such moments, I often wonder, “How come I can write so fast in so many noisy environments, but only be so easily disturbed by the noise of POTS and pans?”;”Why do I get so angry about so many little things that I can’t control?”…According to “the original family” of the very popular self analysis, my voice of POTS and pans particularly sensitive reason may lie in my childhood experience many family quarrels is broke out in the kitchen, POTS and pans of the voice in my subconscious childhood already facing family strife of that kind of feeling helpless, anxiety and sadness together.As for “why do I get so angry and obsessed with so many small things?”, it probably has something to do with the fact that WHEN I was a child, I often saw so many small things become the fuse of family disputes. As a result, even as I get older, I still hold on to so many small things for fear that they will cause more terrible disasters.Pricked me most is that many times the mood out of control, and even large coax shout loudly, don’t even need to reflection, at that moment I can feel the source of this is out of control, it is an extremely good from my childhood memories, although can’t remember once upon, but I know that it is there, such as maggots attached to the bone, ruyingsuixing.”Happy people use childhood to cure life, unhappy people use life to cure childhood” who still remember that iris in childhood?Now, as I grow up, I’m starting to feel the pain, and I’m trying to change myself, but at the same time, I’ve realized:Happiness is more subjective and society is more objective and material. It may be true that people with a happy childhood are more likely to feel secure and content with the people and things around them, but it also means that they lack the motivation to fantasize, as psychologist Lloyd put it:”Happy people do not fantasize. They fantasize only when they are dissatisfied. Unfulfilled wishes are the motive force for fantasy.”And it is fantasy that gives rise to endless creativity and possibilities in human society.Hemingway was once asked, “What is the best discipline for a writer?”Hemingway replied, “An unhappy childhood.”You May be like a Bird Flying to Your Mountain, Educated, you may be like a Bird Flying to Your Mountain.A mountain girl who had never stepped into a classroom before the age of seventeen wore a high hat of academic qualifications and shone brightly…Only I knew who I really was: I came from a family few people could imagine.My childhood was made of scrap metal in a junkyard, where there was no reading, only the roar of cranes.Do not go to school, do not seek medical treatment, is father wants us to adhere to the loyalty and truth.Father did not allow us to have our own voice, our will is his evil.Harvard, Cambridge, MPHIL, PhD in History…””– Tara Westover.Admittedly, the original author of this passage does not make me very strong feeling, because this time already has too many true and inspiring stories and counter attack by packaging, see many also then not so easily moved, after all, who is not the old “metamorphosis” see will drop a few drops of tears of children.Furthermore, although this book has been recommended by many people, I was initially confused as to whether the title “You should Fly to Your mountain like a bird” was a bit too artistic.The change originally occurred after I looked for a special meaning in the title “You should fly to your mountain like a bird.””You shall flee like a bird to your mountain” — from the Biblical phrase, “Flee as a bird to your mountain”, which in addition to its literal meaning carries a religious connotation of “finding a new faith”.In a sense, the tragedy of Tara’s childhood has much to do with her father’s devout Mormonism.Mormonism is a branch of Christianity that arose in the 1830s. It is now the fourth largest religious group in the United States and the largest emerging religion in the world.But the religion is obsessed with what it calls “restoration” of Christ and has no small malice toward women. One of its most notorious tenets is polygamy.Warren Jeffs, one of the so-called “prophets” of mormonism in the new century, even declared that “women are sinful” and that “they must meet their husbands’ needs in order to go to heaven.”Warren Jeffs extreme Mormon family as Portrayed by Tara:”Women are prostitutes, wearing their souls have been sold to satan,” “doctors are corrupt people, we don’t need a doctor, god will heal us” “the Lord will bless his devout, make us from harm”, except for extremely conservative either from the perspective of the doctrine of Mormon or from tara,We can all see the dictatorial rule of men over women in that family.If my father was ignorant and tyrannical, my brother Sean was violent, and he either seemed to be fighting or on his way to fighting.”When he was upset, he would drag Tara into the bathroom by her hair and slam her head down the toilet until she begged.When Tara provoked him, he would mercilessly grab her hand, slam her to the floor, and viciously twist her fingers and palms into spirals. She ignored her screams, and Sean would stop only when she couldn’t stop screaming, “I’m wrong.”Although Tara suffered from torture for this but time has been a long time has also been able to gradually endure, and even slowly she thought it was not a big deal, her only doubt is: why the child very love their second brother will become such a day?Later, tara slowly began to go out of the mountains and contact the outside world under the encouragement of her eldest brother Taylor, Tara touched the hearts of readers with her real and simple writing.The ideal is beautiful and the reality is barren, there is no leading role halo, did not go to school tara is ignorant of math subjects and suffering in the examination room, no accident failed;Although the second time to rally tara successfully admitted to Brigham Young University but still need to worry about the cost of tuition;Even when Tara finally makes it to college, she still doesn’t fit in with most people and faces the same confusion and anxiety that all freshmen face…But I don’t think that’s the scariest thing. What’s really scariest is when Tara gets closer to the truth: it’s the government department that her father hates so much that she’s being generously funded;It was the depraved doctor in her father’s mouth who cured her tooth;”The end of the world,” my father said, was a ridiculous joke in the eyes of most people…The world that father set up for Tara with more than 10 years is slowly collapsing, old and new ideas in Tara’s mind fierce battle, many great people through the ages because they can not accept the new ideas and the world and go to collapse, but Tara did it!And she finds her way in the new world, as the book says: “…Find out what you are capable of, and then decide who you are.”The paradox was perhaps the most painful. On the one hand, Tara was well aware that her father was almost entirely responsible for the children’s unhappy childhood. On the other hand, when tara was told that she was going to go across the ocean to distant Britain to study, her father said,”I have thousands of gallons of gas stored in my basement so I can drive up to you when the world ends, but now you’re going to England…”Even Sean, the brother who beat tara up so often that he fell from a height and injured his head so badly that he didn’t recognize anyone, was still calling out his sister’s name…”We are not the same children that our parents raised us, but they are still the same parents that raised us.”Knowing that they had ruined their childhood and almost ruined their own life, and yet at the same time not denying that they were still the people who loved them the most in the world, this kind of ambivalence is undoubtedly the most painful emotion, and even the strongest person may be driven mad by it.However, young Tara bravely made her own choice and wrote the story of her first half life into a book and shared it with us. We have no right to comment on her choice but to bless her, but her courage and story may illuminate many people’s poems and distant places with a weak but strong light like the North Star.You can love someone and still choose to say goodbye.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.